Love Your Enemies by Arthur C. Brooks

Author:Arthur C. Brooks
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2019-03-11T16:00:00+00:00

There are several key lessons to remember from this chapter if you want to fight the culture of contempt and seek to unify our communities, nation, and world.

My argument is not that demographic characteristics should be dismissed. They exist, and there is nothing wrong with that. Rather, we need to exercise caution in using them as a source of bonding identity, because this isolates us from others in the out-group as much as it unites us to those in our in-group. Likewise, it is dangerous to define others solely with respect to a bonding identity. While it may be descriptively true, it tends to dehumanize, to reduce another person to one dimension.

It is especially important for leaders who want to unite others to use their demographic identities sparingly. It is so tempting to get in front of a group with your own characteristics and say, “I’m one of you, not one of them!” It’s the easiest way to get applause, but it sets us on the wrong path if harmony amid diversity is our goal.

There is a hierarchy of virtue for leaders today in a country driven apart by contempt. The worst are the “breakers,” who seek to gain strength by driving people apart. They use the language of othering and exploit identity politics to define outsiders. This is the dominant strain today in national politics on both the left and right. You probably don’t like that status quo, or you wouldn’t be reading this book. Join me in committing to avoiding this practice. Don’t support it on your political side.

In the middle are “bonders,” who don’t necessarily seek to profit from division, but do little to foster true unity because they use identity to strengthen links to their own groups. While not ill intentioned, they still neglect the opportunity to bring people together across divisions, which marginalizes others. In my opinion, this is a waste of leadership.

The ideal leaders today—whom we need more urgently than at any time in my life—are “bridgers,” men and women dedicated to a radical embrace of diversity. These are leaders of all political stripes who see common human stories all around them and are determined to bring people together. Connection is found when we view one another as individuals with stories and dignity, just like ourselves. Bridging allows us to engage constructively with others when philosophical and ideological differences exist. While strong ties with those who share bonding identities with us are not all bad, it is only when we extend an open hand to those with different characteristics that the kind of trust necessary for solidarity can develop.

For both the left and right, then, unity requires us to see one another as people first and foremost. It requires us to identify our shared “why” and our common human stories before looking to any divided “what.” This is not to say that we should dismiss our differences and the ways in which those differences have resulted in harder lives for some and easier lives for others.

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